TOP 10 REASONS WHY TWILIGHT SUCKS BALLS and more! Wells wells, I got "inspired" in making this entry after reading Minakichu's entry (you're not related to Pikachu, are you? jk! I love your awesomeness!) To Snag A Vampire.

Are you itching to read my list? It's actually not mine so lemme rephrase that, are you itching to read the TOP 10 REASONS WHY TWILIGHT SUCKS BALLS and more that the ttalkers came up with? If you're a ttalker you know the topic I'm talking about and thanks to my genius friend Perry who gathered up her balls (lol) and started the thread.

(credits to Ms. Perry)

Why there are plenty PLENTY of reasons why this movie sucks and sucha waste of my time and money ;D Google it and you'll be surprised.

I'll rather count the wrinkles on my dog's old hairy balls than watch this movie again ;D
Here's why!

1. I understand the intention of this movie is to be a lovestory - but this is too much. Too many cliche sweet scenes that it makes me wanna puke my brains out :P Meyer, please be more creative.

2. What does Edward see in this ghostly like Bella? Obviously, Bella likes Edward cuz he's a pale creepy attractive guy and Bella is...a plain jane, which somehow all the 17 year old boys were going gaga over her!

3. Thanks to Meyer, we finally see a new version of vampires; gay and cuddly. Which leads to #4

4. Ever since I could remember, vampires are always, ALWAYS, portrayed as these verocious blood sucking devil muthafckas...but nooo...the vampires in Twilight are special; they're "vegetarians" and sparkley. Super Cool!!!!

5. Bella is a selfish b*tch; she is willing to leave her family for a guy she just pretty much met. Talk about being a hoe ;D

6. Is it me or this movie is fckin emo as sh*t?! Almost all of the characters have no life...no emotions like Bella. Everybody is soo dull ...

7. Edward is a big fckin stalker ;D what a creep! Thanks again Meyer, for promoting such a wonderful influence to young viewers! "HEY KIDS! GO STALK WHOEVER YOU LIKE AND HOPE FOR THE BEST THEY'LL LIKE YOU BACK!" ;D

8. There were barely any action scenes and I seriously, do not see the plot of the movie, except, this movie is about gay vampires that sparkles (if I were Bella, I would take Edward to the pawnshop and sell him ;D) and a bunch emo characters & scenes. Gahhh, NOTHING WAS FREAKIN' GOING ON except Bella and Edward tryna get it on!!!
9. And speaking of Bella...I've never seen sucha wimpy whiny girl that depends on vampires for her protection. Edward and his family should've been sucked her dry. Tsk.

and lastly,

10. I wasted $20 and plenty of brain cells after watching this terrible, poor written, boringgggg and pointless movie.

-- I'm gonna pawn Edward!! haha *out and searches for Edward* *after 10 minutes* *decided to come back and finish this entry and just continue the search tomorrow -- in broad daylight!* Who's up for the Edward search and be rich?!

-- The movie is really pointless and PLOT-LESS!

And to people, esp the tweens who think Twilight is the best book ever here's one for you

And the books..they are so so so shallow.. I have no idea how they became a worldwide phenomena.. Oh wait i know, hormonal teenage girls who think Twilight is the best book since like, ever, because it's the only book they've ever read, apart from their textbooks, which i doubt, they even know what the insides look like... Edward! Squeaaaal! Ugh. I hope he sucks out all your blood.

credits to chankymanky

(credits to xkatev)

1. The books aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.

2. The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.

3. Meyer can’t think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn’t count.

4. They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.

5. It’s teeming with grammatical errors.

6. They only love each other because she smells good and he’s hot. There’s no other given reason why.

7. A hundred years difference = pedophile.

8. Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Reneseme?

9. They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.

10. There’s something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.

Ya'll gotta agree with the damn straight points here, doesn't matter if you're a fan or a hater, they're all true!

I just can't get over the fever. Everything about it, books, movies, it's so unreal! It is so dreamlike that tweens who were never been in love got trapped in the delusive world that there's really an Edward or a Jacob out there. The moral of the story? NOTHING! What do you expect from a plot-less pointless and boring movie? NOTHING! Bad role model for everyone

  1. Stephenie Meyer made stalking not a crime, rather a romantic move.
  2. Suicide is ok! How many times did Bella in New Moon tried taking her own life because Edward left her?
People! Stalking is a CRIME and being stalked at is creepy alright?! It's not romantic -- AT ALL! And suicide! please! it's not ok to slash your wrist or OD yourself because someone dumped you. That's why we have friends you know, so we can have someone to lean on when times get rough and that's why we have tear glands so we can cry it all out and feel better. Suicide is not the answer for everything. If your vampire boyfriend left you because he can eat you all up, who cares? go for werewolves instead! haha jk! Find a real man! A man who will grow old with you.

And to tweens who think that Edward is real? or want a vampire for a boyfriend?. puhhlease! smarten up! Edward is not even a vampire! He's a fairy like Tinkerbell! Shining Shimmering Splendid Edward! And you can't get kinky with a vampire boyfriend like Edward, except for nighttime sex on the beach and you have to get back to your cottage before the sun sets or else Edward and his dick will start sparkling! Hmmm, I wonder what a sparkling cock looks like?!

Edward, Edward, Edward, why do you have to dip your face in a bowl of flour?When all you need is a brush and the right shade of foundation to look pretty?

To Edward and Bella:
Beat this!

5 statements:

Anonymous said...

Haha. I have no respect for Twilight as a book. I've read better fanfics. I don't see why such garbage is so hyped up

bechay said...



MiDniGHt DriVer said...

ahaha. i'm the right guy for bella. mahilig naman sya mag-flirt. lolz :-)

Mimi said...

hahahaha! this made me laugh out loud! it is sooooo true! love this post! :D

i think twilight will never amount to its contemporaries like harry potter. NEVER.

<3, Mimi

Chromagic said...

Haha, #10 is quite true. However, come New Moon, a bunch of my friends and I went along to see it for the laughs. It's a lot more enjoyable when you ignore its many, many faults xD